Glenn's World – Party On, Excellent!

Busy Work Week … More NFL Picks December 13, 2009

It was a busy work week and I don’t feel too creative right now.  Here are my picks for the week:

No More Thursday Games Please!!! December 3, 2009

Uncle.  I give.  You win.  Fine – NFL will continue to throw out these Thursday games as if it were the Government throwing out tax dollars to Acorn workers.  Fine – don’t listen to me – just do what you want.

The fantastic Thursday matinee game will surely be as exciting as the Thriller in Manilla (or as Howard would have said “The Thrilla’ in Manilla”) = the Jets play the Bills in Buffalo.  Oooooh – set your Tivo recorders now.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  Please.

I’m not prepared to post about football on a Wednesday night; it’s just too early.  Last week Glenn The Greek did fantastic: he went 13-3 with a whopping 87.5% of total confidence points.

Thanksgiving … and more Thursday Football November 26, 2009

So – here we have another week of early football.  I know it’s tradition and all … having the Thursday Thanksgiving football games.  I think the Lions and Cowboys have cornered the market on all Thanksgiving games, right? Well, tradition be damned … leave football games to Sunday and Monday night only.

Don’t get me wrong – I love just about everything about NFL football.  Because of this love, I know that virtually every Sunday from Week 1 to the SuperBowl (except the bye-week before the SuperBowl – which I think is a crock; they should play the Big Game that week instead of having an off week).  With every Sunday spent watching football, I really don’t want to devote more time to watching more football other days.  As it is, I’ll only watch a Monday night game if it is supposed to be a really good game or if I’m close to winning/losing with my fantasy team.  So my recommendation to the NFL is to play games on Sunday and Monday night only.  Forgot those stupid Saturday games at the end of the season too; what’s that all about?

Speaking of fantasy football, Jeff and I have hit the skids big time.  After starting the season 5-0, we’ve lost 5 out of 6 to fall into a tie for 1st place in our weak division at 6-5.  We haven’t done poorly but rather the age-old problem in this game has crept up once again to bite us: our opponents keep scoring big points and we keep losing, regardless of how well our team scores.  We’ve scored an average number of points each week for the past 6 weeks (average being about 95-100 pts) but our opponents are averaging around 110-115 points.  In the end, things are supposed to even out so we’re just going to ride the storm out and hope for better days ahead.  Let’s hope this week we get back in the win column.

Got a postcard from Glenn The Greek somewhere in South America.  He decided he needed to get away to clear his head from a bad week of picks he had last week.  He didn’t do too badly actually, going 11-5 for a winning percentage of 68.7% of the games.  However, his confidence numbers were a bit worse at only 68.4%, his worst week since the dreaded Week 9 when he went 64.8%.  A few upsets severely dragged his numbers down, including losing 15 points when the Steelers got dumped by the Chefs (I love that commercial: “Looks great.  But who are the Chef’s?  Not goin’ anywhere for a while? Great googly-moogly!”) and when the Bengals couldn’t beat the lowly Raiders (12 points lost on that one).  Check out the Excel file in the right column of this blog to see all of Glenn The Greeks picks for each week.

Speaking of picks, let’s get back to that postcard that just came in from The Greek.  Here are his picks:

These Early Weeks Stink November 20, 2009

So we have yet another early Thursday NFL game?  This stinks because I need the weekend to mull over the NFL games to make accurate predictions.  Now I have to quickly look at who plays who and pick the winners in a rush.  At least they could have put a good game on Thursday, right?  Nope – Miami at Carolina.  Dumpy game.

Tell you what = the Greek will make the prediction for tonight and – over the weekend – will provide you with the rest of the picks.

Tonights game will be won by Carolina.  Of the 16 games this week, the Greek will put a Confidence Rating of …… ah ….. how about …… 10.

SUNDAY UPDATE:

Here are the other picks:

Holy Crap! Packers Lose to the Bucs?!!!! November 13, 2009

So Glenn The Greek had a tough time last week.  Of the 13 NFL games, although he correctly picked 8 of them, one of the 5 games that were losers was a big time loser = the Packers losing to the Rookie-QB-led-Bucs.  WHAT???  How the heck did that happen?  BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD.  That game alone has caused many a fantasy footballer to drop the Packers Defense like a hot potato.  The final results of the Week 9 were as follows: 8 wins, 5 losses, 59 out of 91 confidence pool points = 64.8%.  Not totally awful but not good.

Mr. Anonymous requested The Greek to step into a different world and to make selections using the spread.  Needless to say, The Greek’s Spread Selections sucked eggs.  But the Greek doesn’t use the spread, he specializes in The Confidence. The Greek would like to call out Mr. Anonymous to step up to the plate and put his money where his mouth is and make his own predictions.  The Spread or The Confidence – it doesn’t matter – just step up to the plate and let’s see what you’ve got.  Get into the game instead of sitting on the sidelines.

NFL pulled a Thursday Game out of their butt once again and … once again … almost everybody MISSED IT!  The Greek is no different; after all, he’s a human being just like you, me and Mork.  How the heck does Cutler throw 5 picks to the 49ers?  That’s bad.  Ick.  Glad I didn’t watch that barnburner.

Strap it on and get ready for the real Week 10 games (Thursday doesn’t count).  Here they are:

Best Fans in the World November 6, 2009

Although baseball season is over, here is yet another reason why the Redsox and The Nation are the best fans in the country.  Now that is one awesome Redsox fan!

A big matchup this week as the Patriots have a re-match and host the Miami Dolphins  (see the nice Dolphin fan on my earlier post).

Joey Bagadonuts Porter has been shooting off his mouth again and might get a few more enemies, some of which might be in his locker.  On his ESPN television show he ripped into the Patriots, saying how much he hates their team, their name, and especially their QB Tom Brady.  He says the if Brady wants a penalty called, he simply asks the ref and the ref calls it.

Although I understand a little where he’s coming up with this philosophy, I think he’d best look around the rest of the league to see that other QBs are also asking for penalties too … and getting them.  Also, Porter is the 2nd most hated player in the league as voted by his NFL player peers … so his calling out of the Patriots before this big game might add to the number of players that dislike him.  I wouldn’t be surprised if some people on his own team slap him around for potentially lighting a fire under the Patriots butt with his tirade.  It should be an interesting game and that’s the matchup of the week.  The Dolphins won the first game in Miami so they definitely know how to beat the Pats, although this time it will be up in New England.

Two weeks ago Glenn The Greek begin posting NFL game predictions.  That week was great, winning 10 of 13 games and a whopping 89% confidence point total.  As expected, last week was much worse; the matchups were very even and tough to call.  Although an 8-5 record with a 70% confidence accuracy wasn’t bad, I’m expecting this week to be slightly better.  I’d like to get some of you other people out there to submit your picks so we can judge if Glenn The Greek is doing a good job or not.  After all, he’s got to earn his keep here.  We don’t pay him in money, we pay him one big hotdog for every correct game predicted.  Needless to say Glenn The Greek is getting a little round in the midsection.

Jimmy & Glenn The Greek October 31, 2009

One day at the Arlington Race Track in Chicago (before it burned down) I had my brush with greatness.  No – I didn’t run into Will Purdue and his 23 inch feet again.  Nope – this time it was Jimmy The Greek.

Our memorable conversation went something like this:

Glenn: “Wow – are you Jimmy The Greek?”

Jimmy: “Bring me another scotch on the rocks, boy.”

Glenn: “Um, I’m not your waiter, sir.  My name is Glenn Johnson.  I’m a big fan. I used to watch and analyze your NFL football picks all the time.”

Jimmy: “Shut your hole. If you’re not going to get me my drink, beat it, kid.”

Glenn: “Hey – do you think the Bears will beat the Packers this week?”

Jimmy: “Shut the fuck up. Got lost, loser.”

Glenn: “Ok.  Nice meeting you, Jimmy.”

And with that my brush with Greatness was over.  That conversation was so powerful and inspiring, I decided to take up his legacy after his death and make football predictions of my own – but in his name mind you.

And so, without further adieu, here are this weeks picks.  Last week was fantastic and it will be virtually impossible to beat.  But I’m always up for a challenge … so here they are.  Note: this weeks match-ups are very tough; with almost 100% certainty I will do a lot worse than last week.

Football Sunday & My Beer Girl October 25, 2009

Love My Beer Girl!

OK … so it’s Sunday and there are a bunch of good football games on.  Is there anything better than watching football on a Sunday?  How about having Megan Fox being your Beer Girl during commercial breaks?  Sounds good to me!  And she’s a Silver Bullet fan … ooh laa laa!

Vikings have a tough game against Big Ben and the Steelers.  The Patriots should have an easy time with Tampa.

However, I’m going to be doing some cleaning around the house and have a little design project I need to do for a client, so football and Megan Fox won’t be the only things I watch today.

Listed below are my NFL Week 7 Confidence Pool Picks.  I ask you to post your own picks and lets see how we compare after all the games are done.

What They Really Would Say … October 22, 2009

We fucking suck. Need a team of vacuum cleaners? Check out the Titans.

Don’t you wish that people would actually say what they honestly and truthfully feel?  Wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear somebody tell it like it is, regardless of whose feelings they might hurt?  Honesty has taken a back seat to political correctness in all facets of society.

I say screw being “PC”.

Say what’s on your mind and go to bed knowing you didn’t lie, didn’t deceive, didn’t bend the truth, didn’t conceil your true feelings.

Here’s one good example of how messed up being politically correct is.   A few days ago the Patriots beat the Titans 59-0.  All sorts of records were made in this game and it was simply a butt-whoopin’.  So what do some of the players have to say about the experience after the game?  Were they honest?  Did they say what they felt?  I’ve taken their exact quotes from NFL.com and listed them below.  After their quote, I’ll provide you with what they SHOULD have said if they forgot about being politically correct and spoke from the heart.

—————————————————————————-

OILERS HEAD COACH JEFF FISHER

POSTGAME PRESS CONFERENCE

JF: You know, I guess fortunately for me, career wise, I have never been through anything like this before and unfortunately it happened tonight. I can assure you one thing, it’s not going to happen again. I guess our bye week comes at a good time to start over and look at everything that we are doing. You know, I am very disappointed obviously and embarrassed to say the least. We played a very good football team, but that wasn’t us out there today so…we’ve got, as I said, a lot of work to do. And we’ll make the most of the time this week to get things done. So I am not going to address the quarterback situation this evening. You know, injury-wise the only player that was injured and did not return was LenDale White and we have a lot of things to look at, and a short time to get things fixed…questions.

• Honest Response:
  We played like crap.  Not like little baby crap; I’m talking stinky, Budweiser Clydesdale one-foot-tall pile of shit.  We stunk.  We sucked so bad.  We couldn’t do anything right.  My Grandmothers fucking bridge club could have performed better than we did today.  You know, this bye week is coming at a good time because I think I would vomit if I had to see these pansies play another game so soon after this ass kicking.  These pussies better work their fucking asses off if they want to play another game for this team.  I don’t care who they are, how much they make, how much guaranteed money they are due – if they practice anything like that pathetic mess they just displayed today, I’ll send them off to fucking Cleveland or St. Louis.  Those shitty teams are full of crappy players that underperform so they’d feel right at home.  Bye week, my ass, they are going to be put through my own “Biggest Loser” week of hell.  They are going to wish they never have another bye week in their life.  Does anyone have a whip I can use?

Q: Why wasn’t the team ready to play tonight?

JF: The team? I thought the team was ready. They practiced really well this week, in a close to similar environment, despite you know, the snow. But I thought we were ready to play. And the turnovers, obviously you can’t turn the football over like that.

• Honest Response:
  I have no clue.  They knew it was going to be cold; we practiced in the cold; we had to play a error-free game to have a chance to play these guys in their stadium.  But they laid a fucking egg – a goose egg – a rotten egg.  Dropping passes, fumbling the ball; they obviously didn’t give it their all because if they honestly gave it their all, I would cut their asses from the team right now.  If they gave their all and produced a whopping ZERO points … who wants that crap?  Who says that is good enough?  They simply gave up and took the zero.

Q: Why has this team struggled with adversity?

JF: You know, things have turned for the worst awfully quick for this franchise and it’s my job to get it straightened out. And that’s what I’m going to do and that’s what I’m going to continue to do. We have a lot of talented players in that room, but as I told them, whether you’re a first year rookie or a 15 year vet, like Kevin [Kaesviharn] or Kerry [Collins], this just doesn’t happen. It’s not good and doesn’t get any worse, but if we’ve bottomed out here then all we can move is up and that’s what we’re going to do.

• Honest Response:
  I don’t think adversity has anything to do with it.  If they win, nobody even mentions adversity.  It’s always after a loss.  Adversity exists every day in a high profile career such as an NFL player or coach.  We deal with scum bags like you every day, asking stupid fucking questions like that.  Look at yourself, dick weed.  Why would you ask a stupid question like that?

Q: Jeff, are you worried that going 0-6 like this could cost you your job?

JF: You know, I’m going to keep fighting. I’m going to just keep working. You know the staff didn’t forget how to coach in the off season, you know, it doesn’t happen. You don’t forget how to coach overnight. What we have to do is find a way to win a ball game.

• Honest Response:
  I really don’t give a crap.  If I were on the field playing like they were playing, I’d feel ashamed about being paid millions of dollars for performing like that. As a coach, I can only do so much. We had opportunities to score but the guys missed them.  Dropped passes, fumbles, missed blocking assignment, there were so many heads up asses they should consider switching jobs.  I know I am. Look, I’m a multi-millionaire and really don’t need the job to pay my bills. I’m already set for life so I’m just looking for some fun.  These guys don’t make it fun, at least not the way they’ve played so far this year. So am I worried it will cost me my job?  Fuck no.  Any other stupid questions?

Q: [inaudible]

JF: You know, again, I’m going to keep fighting. As the staff and as the players are. We’re just going to keep working. Fortunately, maybe we’ll get some people back. We’re hurt in the secondary and we’re trial by fire for a lot of the young DBs. You know, that’s part of it. We’ll be better off because of it.

• Honest Response:
  What the heck did you just say dick weed? I couldn’t understand you probably because your head was up your ass too. Pull it out, wipe your face with a sanitary wipe and speak like you’ve got a pair you pansy.

Q: Do you expect big changes in the bye week?

JF: I’m not going to go into changes now. We’re going to look at everything real hard and you know we got to get back to doing something well…in all three phases.

• Honest Response:
  Sure.  No more Mister Nice Guy. I’m going to push these guys hard, so hard that if they will hope they never have another week like this. I’m done with their bullshit; they are going to ship up real soon – like next game – or I’m going to start shipping them out.

Q: Last week you guys rushed four guys almost the whole time, and it seemed like you did the same against the Patriots today. Why not a willingness to change things up?

JF: We did, we pressured a little bit, got caught both times and we also gave up a touchdown pass on a screen tonight. And Tom did a good job of getting the ball out. We were concerned about their screen. They are very [good] at executing it. You know, we got pressure, just didn’t…you know, we gave up big plays and turned the football over to them.

• Honest Response:
  That might be something I change up but I’m certainly not going to tell you or anyone else about it.  Just watch the next game; these guys will be on the opposing QB like something you’ve never seen.  Or at least that’s what I hope.

Q: Do you think they ran up the score at all, 45 nothing in the 3^rd quarter?

JF: No, that was their plan going in, why are they going to change their plan?

• Honest Response:
  Run up the score?  I guess you could look at it that way but what do you expect them to do? Give up?  Slow down and wait for us to catch up? In this game, if you stop trying bad things happen.  So although it hurt to see them continually score when we couldn’t even get first downs, I’d do the same thing if I were them.  We sucked and these guys better learn from this humiliating experience or else.

Q: Do you think your team gave up at all? Or effort was an issue?

JF: No, they played. We didn’t tackle well in the second half, they had a couple runs that we had a couple linebackers out of position, but I wouldn’t say lack of effort. I mean it’s hard to go out there and play with emotion, the same emotion, when you are down by 45. But I didn’t see a lack of effort. I saw frustration, but not a lack of effort.

• Honest Response:
  Haven’t you heard a word I said?  Of course they gave up you dick.  Take the shit out of your ears and listen to what I’m fucking saying dip shit.  Yes, they gave up.  Yes, they quit in the 2nd quarter.

Q: What was the demeanor like in the locker room, Jeff?

JF: It was less than celebratory.

• Honest Response:
  That is one of the dumbest questions I’ve ever heard. All of us in this room here are dumber from having heard it.  Go home, spend some quality brain time and come back tomorrow with a better question you nitwit.

Q: Losing the Super Bowl is tough, but is this a low point in your career?

JF: This is difficult. This is not an easy one, but sometimes it takes this, so hopefully there’s some good in this and we get back on our feet, and we find a way to win a game.

• Honest Response:
  From a frustration point – yes.  Losing the SuperBowl was only disappointing in the fact that we did so much RIGHT and got so far only to fall a little short.  These 6 games this year have shown that we are doing absolutely NOTHING right. In all the years of being in football, which included some years when I played on some bad Chicago Bears teams, this definitely is the worst I’ve felt.  Thanks for pointing that out you jerk.

Q: How come so many drops, was it lack of concentration with the guys?

JF: You know, I don’t know, they caught it. They were catching it. We must have dropped the first seven or eight passes. Who knows, you make a couple of those catches and you flip the field and who knows. There is a lot more than just those, there are a lot of things that we got to get working on, so…

• Honest Response:
  Either it was a lack of concentration or they used too much KY jelly the night before.  They’re bigger than me – you go ask them that question – but don’t hold me responsible for what happens to you.

OILERS QUARTERBACK KERRY COLLINS

(On this being the most frustrating day for him as a quarterback)

“It’s about as bad as it gets, period the end. We just need to take a look at where we are at and use this bye week to our advantage and get this thing figured out.”

(On the last three weeks)

“From an offensive standpoint, we haven’t done enough to help ourselves early in the ballgames. We put ourselves in situations that we haven’t been able to overcome. We haven’t given ourselves a chance to keep drives alive and to capitalize on opportunities. It’s very frustrating.”

(On the team dropping some balls)

“I know this: we are all responsible for this loss and for the past couple of losses. I know there are things we all can do better.”

(On his thoughts that Jeff Fisher might make a QB change)

“I am not going to assume anything at this point. I still feel like I am the quarterback of this team and this is my team. I give us a chance to win when I go out there.”

(On ever being part of such a lopsided game)

“I haven’t been a part of a game like this in the pros. In college, I have been part of a couple on the plus side of games like this. We made a lot of mistakes and we played a really good football team. When you put those two things together, it’s going to be a bad loss.”

(On the team struggling when adversity hits)

“I wish I could put my finger on it. We have guys that are out there fighting and doing everything they can. Unfortunately, the frustrating part is, it’s not working out for us, but that is something we all have to deal with and I will have to take to heart this bye week and just try and stick together and come back.”

(On feeling the game spinning out of control)

“At the end of the first half, I think we turned it over three straight possessions, two of those were mine and that’s unacceptable, bottom line.”

(On the weather conditions)

“They had to play with them too and they didn’t do those kinds of things, from my standpoint, two fumbled snaps and that is something that I have to do, to take better care of the ball.”

(On what has happened to the team in such a short period of time)

“It’s hard to tell. I know from an offensive standpoint, we are turning the ball over too much. We didn’t turn the ball over a lot last year and I think that helped us win a lot of games.”

(On keep playing through the lopsided score)

“We are professionals, we are expected to play hard every play and compete. I think guys did that, I don’t think I saw anyone out there that wasn’t competing or quit. That is expected every week, were are expected to win and to give winning performance and we just aren’t doing that right now.”

(On what to do moving forward as the quarterback of this team)

“I think this is a time when the leaders of this team, I consider myself a leader, I am a workaholic, I am going to do everyone I can on the practice field, the locker room to win next week. There’s no room for whining or complaining or pointing fingers. I am not going to throw helmets, scream at guys or call people out. We will come back to work and that’s the bottom line. I hope guys follow my example.”

——————————————————————-

(On the team’s chances of turning around their season)

“Absolutely I think we can, without question. We are not as bad as we think we are right now. It is hard to see that right now after tonight, we need to keep working and good things will happen. We have a bunch of guys that just aren’t going to lay down, they aren’t going to quit and keep pushing forward. As long as we do that, we have a chance.”

Norv Turner On Reality TV October 20, 2009

What An Idiot

The big reality show coming to TV near you will be called “The Biggest Idiot”.  Last night there was a casting call and Norv Turner won the job.  The Chargers lost to the Denver Broncos at home in San Diego.  QB Phillip Rivers looked good but a few problems caused him to have a bad night:

1. Norv Turner is his coach
   The announcers continually called this guy an offensive genius throughout the night.  What a joke.  The Broncos blitzed on virtually every plan in the 2^nd half and the Chargers could generate absolutely nothing on offense against it.  Rivers was sacked a career high 5 times.  He was hit by rushers virtually every time he dropped back.  In the first half, the announcers gloated that Norv Turner has more screen passes in his playbook than all of the other coaches combined.  Geee … wouldn’t it have been a smart decision to run a bunch of those screen passes in the 2^nd half to slow down the blitzing rushers?  Sure … but did he?  Nope.  What an idiot.  He kept on trying to establish the run and they kept on getting put in the hole with 3^rd down plays because the runs just weren’t successful enough.  And when they had to pass on 3^rd down, the Broncos simply rushed Rivers with a bunch of guys and, since the offensive line couldn’t block him, Rivers was throwing earlier than he wanted and had a bunch of incompletions.
2. Ladanian Tomlinson can’t block
   Not only only has he proven to have lost a couple steps, he couldn’t block on the blitzes.  As mentioned above, I think Norv Turner should have continually setup screen passes with Tomlinson but, since he didn’t, LT had to try to block, which lead to many sacks and incomplete passes.
3. The Chargers defense couldn’t stop the Broncos.  The Broncos controlled the ball in the 2^nd half and the Chargers offense didn’t have many opportunities because of it.  Kyle Orton?  Really?  Man … the Chargers are not very good and will definitely miss the  playoffs this year.

Norv probably tried out forThe Biggest Loser but, much to his dismay, they told him the show was about losing weigh, not simply being a loser in general.  So watch for him on “The Biggest Idiot” next year.  He’s working on creating the pilot himself.

What a dumb ass.